Speak like a swordsman

Master the language of kung fu novels to vanquish fiends, or just to impress your friends

It seems like everyone in China has read a martial arts novel, or at least seen a TV adaptation of one.

The undisputed king of wuxia (武侠 wǔ xiá), a kung fu literary genre, is Jin Yong, aka Louis Cha, whose tales of beautiful heroes and heroines read like modern Chinese takes on Arthurian legends (only with more flying headbutts).

Characters in wuxia books, films and TV shows all speak a distinctive patois. This lingo crops up on occasion in modern-day situations, too, from formal dinners to company meetings to social media chats, so it's useful to know if you want to impress your friends and colleagues.

Although wuxia novels become popular in the 20th century, they are mostly all set in ancient China. As a result, the language can often come across as stilted and old-fashioned. Hence, opinion is divided about how appropriate this language is in everyday use, which is akin to walking around a English town shouting "where art thou?"

A major tenet of the martial arts code is chivalry, hence the phrase, "Upon seeing injustice on the road, draw one's sword and come to the rescue." (路见不平，拔刀相助; Lù jiàn bùpíng, bádāo xiāngzhù.)

The following sentences should be spoken with the authority that comes with the knowledge you're a human death machine, and it may help to have a wispy beard to twirl, too.

Two tigers cannot share one mountain.

Yī shān bù róng èr hǔ.

一山不容二虎。

From the movie The Forbidden Kingdom (功夫之王)

Don't think that because you are handsome I won't hit you.

Bié yǐwéi nǐ zhǎng de shuài wǒ jiù bù dǎ nǐ.

别以为你长得帅我就不打你。

From the movie Kung Fu (功夫)

Today is not the day you die. It is the day I live.

Jīnrì bú shì nǐ sǐ, jiù shì wǒ huó.

今日不是你死，就是我活。

From the movie The Sentimental Swordsman (多情剑客无情剑)

Just like in real life, first impressions are important in the martial arts world. The next sentences are a few icebreakers, but probably best not to use them at an important business meeting.

Which school (of martial arts) do you belong to?

Géxià shì nǎ mén nǎ pài de?

阁下是哪门哪派的?

Really: Where are you from, and what do you do?

May I humbly ask your great name?

Qǐng wèn géxià zūn xìng dà míng?

请问阁下尊姓大名？

Really: What's your name?

When introducing oneself, it's usual to use the first person singular, zaìxià (在下), literally "below", which is a way of showing one's humility. Others should be referred to as géxià (阁下), literally "I address you from below your mansion", akin to m'lord or m'lady.

When encountering one another, a pair of kung fu practitioners might greet each other with:

I am A. May I be so bold as to learn your great name?

Zàixià A, gǎn wèn géxià gāo xìng dà míng?

在下A，敢问阁下高姓大名?

I am known as B.

Zàixià B.

B: 在下B。

Aha. Brother B, good to make your acquaintance.

O. Yuánlái B xiōng, jiǔyǎng jiǔyǎng.

哦。原来B兄, 久仰久仰。

In kung fu novels, characters are constantly judging each other on their martial arts prowess, and they're certainly not afraid to brag. Nowadays, kung fu (功夫; gōngfu) doesn't necessarily refer to one's martial arts ability; it can mean performing any skill, from using spreadsheet software to riding a motorbike or even cooking pasta.

I'd never have thought your kung fu would be so amazing.

Méixiǎngdào nǐ de gōngfu rúcǐ liǎodé.

没想到你的功夫如此了得。

Really: That's impressive.

Your kung fu isn't bad. You probably count as one of the best martial artists around.

Nǐ de gōngfu búchà, yīnggāi yě suànshì dāngjīn wǔlín zhōng de gāoshǒu le.

你的功夫不差，应该也算是当今武林中的高手了。

Really: You're very good at what you do.

All this flattery can be rebuffed with a simple: "I dare not accept such praise." (不敢; Bùgǎn.)

Most kung fu speak can be put to use when two or more people are competing, be it in a high-stakes game of table tennis or tiddlywinks on an empty office desk.

Fighting with our fists, we are evenly matched. Let's see who's better with the naked blade.

Zánmen quánjiǎo nánfēn gāoxià, bīngrèn shàng zài jué shēngsǐ.

咱们拳脚难分高下，兵刃上再决生死。

Really: Let's try a different game.

Your kung fu is exceptional, and I bow to your superiority.

Géxià de gōngfu fēi tóng yī bān, zàixià gān bài xià fēng.

阁下的功夫非同一般，在下甘拜下风。

Really: I admit it. You're better than me.

And if you're tired of the usual zaijian when saying goodbye, why not bid adieu in consummate kung fu style.

As the mountains do not move and the rivers keep on flowing, we will meet again.

Qīngshān búgǎi, lǜshuǐ chángliú, zánmen hòu huì yǒu qī!

青山不改，绿水长流，咱们后会有期！

While this kind of language doesn't conform to the everyday usage you find in textbooks, or even out and about in the streets, throwing a few kung fu terms into your speech - if used properly - can really show a familiarity with local culture that many learners of Chinese can only dream about.

Courtesy of The World of Chinese, www.theworldofchinese.com

The World of Chinese

(China Daily Africa Weekly 09/16/2016 page23)